Laundry - Sheets

Hey there!

I know its been a long time since we have had a chance to chat. I hope you are doing well. How has 2025 been treating you? 

Well, I won't keep you long today. I just had a question for you. Do you know how to fold fitted sheets? I do, I love it. Popeye tells me its sorcery -- because I am able to get it all folded up and tucked into each other. See pictures below. Anyway, do you agree with Popeye or are you like me and get such satisfaction of having your sheets folded just right? 

I hope to catch up with you later and we can share about how this year has been. Till then, I hope you remember to take care, give yourself grace, and keep the faith. 

Always, 

Simply Me

This is a fitted sheet with two pillowcases tucked in. 

This is a set: fitted sheet, top sheet, and two pillowcases tucked in. 

Same set as the one above, just a different view.

In honor of Black History Month: I present to you--- Black owned businesses!!

This photo is from https://www.mariannyc.com/

 

Hello everyone!

Are you interested in some black owned business? Here are three that you can reach out and show some support and enjoy some awesome products. 

Bakery: Holly's Bundt Cakes

If you are looking for an alternative to the infamous Nothing Bundt Cakes...look no further. Holly's Bundt Cakes are so delicious. She is always adding to her menu. Her cakes will make your tummy scream for joy. Not only is this a black own company but it is also veteran owned.  My favorite is her coconut cake and her gluten free red velvet. If you are gluten free--fear not, she will be adding more soon. 

Bookstore: Turning Page Bookshop

One of the few owned and operated black own bookstores. Its a true gem. They ship anywhere in the USA. If you are looking for a book and its not on their website, no need to fear; they usually can find it and get it to you. Every book they have recommended to me has been amazing. They have a talent on suggesting great books. 

Natural Products: Kissed By A Bee Organics

If you are looking for full body coverage...look no further. All her products are locally sourced, and handmade with great quality products. My favorite is her body wash, and her deodorant. I have been using both for years and will never go back to store bought. 

Organization: Sole Organizer, LLC

If you are needing help organizing your life, house, office, closet, you name it. This is the business for you. She is budget friendly and has amazing tips that will change your life in any area that you need organizing. 

I hope you all check out these three small black owned business and show some support. 

Be blessed,
Simply Me

2023 Summary and a Happy New Year!

This is from the book Jesus Always by Sarah Young

 Hey ya'll!

We have made it through another year. Thank God. This has been quite the year. In case you are new here or haven't had the time to read previous posts; here is the cliff notes of this year.

• Popeye was moved to a new command. That was a nightmare. God bless him and all the other sailors at that command. 
• I started working out with a personal trainer. That was so much fun and I was finally getting stronger and toned. That had to come to an end due to health issues. 
• I ended up in the hospital on my death bed once again. I was there for quite a bit. Had to restart treatment at a higher dose and frequency.
• I was blessed with a visit from a best friend from my college days. Thank you again, Ink for coming to visit me. I hadn't seen her since 2009. Though we both were going through a hard time--it was just so amazing and healing in some ways to spend time together. Hopefully it won't be this long before I see her again. 14 years is way to long. She left me with homework, hahaha.. you can read it here.
• I quit my job. That was such a hard decision to make but it honestly was the right decision for me to make.
• God gave me a career pivot. I am still in the beginning stages of that so stay tuned for more details on that.
• I started group challenges on Stridekick. If you want to join let me know. Lets get our steps in. 
• We added a new member to our pack. His name is Luigi. You can read more about him here.
• Popeye made a huge decision that changes his career path and I am so proud of him. 
• Popeye and I went to his best friends wedding. It was so much fun and beautiful.
• I went to my little sister's wedding. It was so beautiful. She was stunningly gorgeous.
• I had major surgery--I might come back and explain that later. But for now, just know the recovery is very long, slow, and painful. At the time of this writing I am 7 weeks post-op. Home health Nursing comes out a few times a week to change my wound care. 
• I reconnected with my sister. That has been such a blessing.
• I read a total of 27 books for the year. You can see the list of books I read here.
• I changed my name on my blog from Simply That to Simply Me. It fits better. 

And with that the year comes to an end. I have had to deal with a lot and in some ways I am still dealing. I have grown in some areas and have learned some lessons. How was your year? Leave me a comment if you feel like sharing. I'd love to hear about it. 

So as I end this year and start 2024 I just want to first thank you all for stopping by and reading my ramblings. I truly appreciate it. I know you all have gone through life issues as well and I just want you to know that I am proud of you for overcoming and getting through those tough times. I have no idea what 2024 brings but keep on taking one step at a time and keep hope alive. I wish you and your family a very special and blessed 2024. May it be filled with good health, love, peace, joy, and great adventures.  Happy New Year, my darlings; see you in the new year!

Till next time,
Simply Me...

Who am I?

Hey guys!

It's me again. Last week my friend Ink was visiting me. Its crazy we haven't seen each other in 14 years. Can I just say how amazing it was to spend time with her and just catch up in real time. She truly is one of my dearest friends. But we live on opposite sides of the planet most of the time, so this visit was extremely important to me. 

Anyway, while visiting, Ink, shared a video with me that she saw on Instagram and then turned the challenge onto me. The challenge is to introduce myself using 5 nouns. I can't use my name, profession, ethnic background, etc. I have wrestled with this for so many days now. This was not easy, not because I don't know who I am. It was hard because I have never thought about who I am in this way.

So while the introduction on my blog is still accurate, let me re-introduce myself...

Hello, I am a Jesus follower. I am a prayer warrior. I am a helper. I am curious. I am human. I think these words is the very basis of me.

Prayer and Jesus are how I make a lot of decision in my life. When I am in hard situations I rely on Jesus and prayer to get through.

I love helping people in any way that I am able to. If I see a need or someone asks for help and I am able to- I will help. I literally want to be in a place in life where I can help anyone at any given time where I don't have to consider my own work schedule or finances at the time. Maybe one day Jesus will allow me to do that. What a dream!

I am curious, so very curious. Popeye, likes to tell me that my curiosity is going to get me into trouble one day. I am curious about so many things and places. Hopefully, it never gets me into trouble.

Lastly, I am human. My role in other peoples lives change from person to person. BUT at the end of the day I am human. Humanity is important to me. I don't care what other people look like, their socioeconomic status, or ethnic or cultural background. WE all bleed red and deserve to be kind towards each other. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is how we as people are so mean towards other people. It makes no sense to me. 

I am throwing one last description of me because I want to post the following picture....I am silly and I love me for it. 

Thanks for reading and staying with me thus far. If you care to introduce yourself to me, leave me a comment. 

Till the next time,

Simply That...

Lightning Storm

I have never seen anything like this before... no rain, no thunder.. just lightning. It's pretty in an eery way.

lightning storm

Midyear update 2023

 Hello Friends,

This has been quite the crazy year.  Since the last update in this post, a few things have happened. I almost died again and ended up in the hospital. It was rough and that is putting it nicely. I had a really bad infection and my Crohn's decided it wanted to wreck havoc on my body. I am so thankful for Popeye and everyone's prayers. I switched doctors and medical facilities. Thank God for the Mayo Clinic. They truly are amazing. The doctors there literally worked hard to get me stable and better to a point to be discharged and go home. The GI doctor that I am now seeing (thanks be to God) is not only an IBD specialist but she specializes in my type of CD.

So, this whole experience, took a toll on both Popeye and I (not our marriage we are good on that front). But it was emotionally taxing for both of us. I was sick for so long (several months). But now I am back on a treatment plan that is working for my body and go more frequently than last time. 

We also had a major death in the family - my tia (the best tia anyone could have asked/prayed for). My heart is still so shocked and sad. I wish I could of been with my family but I am glad my parents  and brother were able to go home and be with the rest of the family. They did stream the service so I was able to be there with family virtually. This is such a huge loss for our family. But I know that one day we will see her again. 

In other news, I am in the process of a career pivot. I can't say much on that as of right now but once I can I will fill you in. But just know that I feel like this process has been a huge leap of faith. I truly believe I am walking on the path God has laid before me but its been a huge test of my faith. More on that later. 

Lastly, as for as reading books goes, if you have been following this post, you can see that I am so far keeping to my goal of reading at least one book a month. I still have 6 books checked out from the library that I need to start and finish. However, I have decided that if I don't finish at least one, maybe two of those books before I run out of renewals again--that I am just going to return all 6 books and start fresh again but only check out one book at a time until I am settled and things calm down a bit.

Well that is all for now, till next time - leave me a comment and let me know how you are doing. I'd love to hear about it. 

Always,
Simply That...

Books of 2023

Hey there!

A few of you have asked for my reading list this year. So here is the list. I will update it as I finish the books. I am doing the list differently this year as my goal is very different than last year. This year I have a goal of reading at least one book a month. My goal is significantly lower this year as my work life is a lot busier this year than last year so I am not able to read for hours during the work week like previous. So I am using this year as a benchmark to see how much I can read during  the month giving work and life events lol. 

If you have any recommendations on books, please leave a comment down below.

Till next time, happy reading to you!!

Simply That...

January

1. Spring's Gentle Promise by Janette Oke (Kindle)
2. The Christmas Angel by Thomas Kinkade and Katherine Spencer
3. Mr. Miracle: A Christmas Novel by Debbie Macomber (Kindle)
4. Call Me Mrs. Miracle by Debbie Macomber (Kindle)
5. Brush of Angel's Wings by Ruth Reid

February

1. A Mrs. Miracle Christmas by Debbie Macomber (Kindle)
2. The Unheard by Nicci French

March

1. Murder In a Minor Key by Jessica Fletcher and Donald Bain
2. St. Patrick's Day Murder by Leslie Meier

April

1. Miramar Bay by  Davis Bunn (Kindle)

May

1. The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi (Kindle)
2. Back Home Again by Melody Carlson
3. The Last Colony by John Scalzi (Kindle)

June

1. Enchanting Pleasures by Eloisa James

July

1. Zoe's Tale by John Scalzi (Kindle)
2. Jingle All The Way by Debbie Macomber

August

1. How to keep house while drowning: a gentle approach to cleaning and organizing by KC Davis, LPC
2. Someone Like You by Karen Kingsbury
3. Fool Me Once by Fern Michaels

September

1. My Lucky Life in and Out of Show Business by Dick Van Dyke
2. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry
3. Spare by Prince Harry and J.R. Moehringer
4. The Human Division by John Scalzi (Kindle)

October

1. The Authenticity Project by Clare Pooley

November

1. The End of All Things by John Scalzi (Kindle)
2. Redemption by Karen Kingsbary and Gary Smalley

December

1. Love and Kisses Christmas Collection by Debra Elizabeth (Kindle)

What's next?

Hello dear reader, 

Happy March 1. How is your year going so far? Can you believe we are starting the 3rd month already? I feel like the year just started and its already March.  I hope your year is going well so far. My year has been a roller coaster so far. 

Treatment stopped working so they created a new treatment regimen for me. So, Lord willing that will work better and I can continue my healing journey. I also got tested for allergies; and as Popeye says often - I am "allergic to life". So I started getting allergy shots along with taking prescription allergy medications.

Work has been incredibly busy--so much so that they offer overtime at least 2-3 days a week. I don't participate often in the overtime but I do appreciate that the offer is there. 

Anyway, I have a question for you- maybe two. Do you want to see my reading list for 2023? It would be pretty much the same format as last year. I will just keep a list of the books I have read. My to-be-read (TBR) list is too long to cross over to the blog but I can put a few of the ones that I have determined I will read this year if you are interested in that list as well. With that being said, I have read 7 books this year so far. I, unfortunately, will not be able to make it to 40 or more books this year. So my goal is set really low and I will adjust as life allows me to read. I also started working with a personal trainer in December and will continue for at least another few months. Would you like to see my progress as I go on this journey. Please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. I am trying to decide one these things, so I would appreciate your input. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Take care,

Simply That

2022

 Hello dear reader,

Happy new year! I hope your year is off to a great start and I hope this blog post finds you doing well and in good health. Thanks for stopping by to catch up with me. Its been awhile I know and for that I am sorry. A lot has happened - a lot has changed. Definitely not as traumatic or life threatening as 2021, but just as life changing. Here's the scoop of how 2022 unfolded. 

The year started out with me still battling with my health and learning how to manage Crohn's disease. It was a challenge but that has somewhat smoothed itself out. I still have inflammation though its decreased. I have figured out for the most part my dietary restrictions. Well I thought I did and then I recently in 2023 did allergy testing and now I am back to the drawing board with food. I might share more on that later. Anyway, as of my latest colonoscopy my body is still very angry and not ready for a reversal surgery. Its okay, I am just thankful to be alive. 

Popeye and I moved to another state and another command. I am so proud of him. He got promoted--so well deserved. I know he will be an awesome leader. Pray for him you'll he is dealing with so much. I am not at liberty to give details but God knows so just keep him in prayer if you are of the praying type. 

Popeye and his friend Tom decided that I and Tom's wife would be good friends if not best friends but neither of us ladies thought that would be the case. However, we took a leap of faith and decided to meet up one day during the deployment. Her name is Jacqui and she has an adorable daughter named Liza. Anyway, Jacqui and I hung out at her house. I planned on only staying there for an hour so that I don't overstay my welcome. But we ended up really enjoying each others company and conversation. We laughed at how our husbands were trying to set up an adult-play-date for us. I am glad they were right, I adore Jacqui and Liza. We hope to get together again and hang out more in the future. 

Shortly after we moved, our beloved Yoda passed away unexpectedly.  That was so traumatic. He died at home while we were in the process of trying to find an emergency vet. He wasn't sick prior to his death. He had had an awesome Friday, the day before. Saturday morning, he didn't want to eat his food and he just wanted to lay down even when I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk. That wasn't normal so we both started calling around to find a vet that was open on a Saturday morning that could take him in and check him out. By the time we finally got a hold of a vet (over an hour drive away) Yoda was gone. As sad as it was, I am so glad that Popeye was home for it. It would have been 100 times worse if he was deployed--I would have had to wait till he returned home to tell him. 

We also rehomed Roxy. Roxy was a foster puppy we acquired prior to moving. She was a German Shepherd puppy of about 1 year of age when we picked her up. She was just too much for me to handle and because Popeye was going to be deploying soon we decided it was best that she went to a home that could handle her. It took several weeks but we were able to place her in a home that truly loves her and she gets to live her best life. I know we made the right decision. 

I traveled to visit my parents a few times this year. That was fun. The first time was a whirlwind. During that first trip to visit my parents, was the first time I would be traveling on a plane with Maria Consuelo. I was so nervous. I learned two things that trip: Maria Consuelo gets me stopped by TSA and I can indeed travel with Maria Consuelo and not need to feel panicked. Aside from that it was such an amazing trip. I  was able to see my favorite high school teacher, and two of my best friends. I've known them for 24 years. One of them got married that weekend and I was the matron of honor. I was so honored to be apart of their day. It was beautiful and so very busy. I love her husband. They are such a cute couple. 

Also in 2022 I found out that the job I started in 2020 was being eliminated. That was such a hard pill to swallow. I really enjoyed that job. It was nice of them though, the last few weeks they allowed us to use our working hours to look for another job. As only God could do--I was blessed with a new job within the same parent company. I like this new job but it is very different and has a large learning curve. 

2022 also brought me closer to my friend Jess. I've known her for about 10ish years now. Her husband and Popeye semi work together. Anyway, I adore her--she has been such a great help to me. There were a couple of times that I needed help with transportation to and from treatment/procedures and she helped me. This is the most we've talked and spent time with each other and I am loving it. I look forward to seeing how our friendship grows. 

So much more happened last year but this has been a very long post so I am ending here. Thanks for sticking with me this long. I will try to do better in 2023 with keeping up with my blog posts. 

Till next time take care, 
Simply That

Blessings at Work

From Pinterest

Hello friends, 

It's been a few months since I last wrote. So much has happened but for now. I am going to talk about an encounter I had last week. It was a reminder that God is still working things out even when I don't see Him. 

As you all know from this post I have an ileostomy. Anyway, along this journey so far I have prayed and ask God for a friend who also has an ileostomy or a colostomy. Well, God has answered that prayers in such an unique way. 

My current job is ending soon because our company is closing. As a result there are a lot of things that need to happen in order to close out our files/patients. A lot of changes have happened in the few weeks since getting notified of the closure. They have me working with a young lady I will call Alli. I just met Alli a few weeks ago because they wanted me to learn her tasks as she was blessed with a new job and will be leaving us soon. She has such an awesome spirit and personality. I have really enjoyed working with her and I am sad that our time together is rapidly coming to an end. 

Friday of this past week, we were talking at work about the process of moving, packing and unpacking. I mentioned that this move was a challenge because I was not physically able to do as much as before and it was a lot of work to get my medical team and treatments set up. Alli asked me if it didn't bother me to share but what treatment was I taking/getting... see below for our conversation via chat while at work...I will omit part of the conversation but you will get the gist of it.

Me: I don't mind at all I am getting remicade infusions.

Alli: Is yours for Crohns?

Me: Yeah, I have a rare form of Crohns

Alli: If you don't mind me asking do you have a ostomy bay?

Me: Yes I do.

Alli: shut upppppp ME TOO 

We then proceeded to share part of our stories and have a mini praise God session. Have you ever had an encounter where you knew it was nothing God? That was this for me. If it had not been for this job closure, I would have never crossed paths with Alli. 

I am a believer in that nothing is coincidental. Everything happens for a reason and at the right time. We both have a lot going on in life. I am not sure how this friendship will grow or where it will go. But the one thing I do know, is that God put us on a journey together for the foreseeable future. Alli, is an answer to my prayer and it came in such an unexpected way. I am all here for it. I love how God works. It's always best. Although I will huff, puff and fight in the waiting process---it's always worth it.  And I am excited for it. For those of you who are praying folks, please keep my new friend Alli in your prayers. Thanks!

Till next time,
Simply That

 

Happy New Year 2022

this photo is from bluemountain.com

Hello my dear readers,

We are two days into the new year. I hope your year is off to a great start. My prayer for all of us is that this year is filled with many blessings, love, adventures, prosperity, and good health. Remember to be kind to others and to yourself. Learn to forgive others and yourself. Read a good book and take time to travel. Try a new recipe. Take time for yourself-its okay to relax and take care of your mental health. You will be able to better serve others when you have recharged your own batteries. Take time for a walk, make sure you laugh and smile. And if you have faith--make sure you take time for Jesus (or whatever you believe in (I prefer Jesus)). 

Till next time,
Simply That...

 

2021 Recap

Hey there, Its been awhile! How are you doing?

So after a crazy 2020. I was really hoping and praying 2021 would be different. But boy was I wrong. They say when life gives you lemons make lemonade. Let me tell you I am trying however I have no tools and even if I did my cup has holes in it....

I must warn you now so you can make the decision of quit reading now or sticking with me till the end of this post...what I am about to share with you will get pretty gross and is a very long read. 

January 26 ,started out and ended as any normal day. However, that night would change the trajectory of my life. My body woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and thought I was dying. I had so much pain. I was in so much that I had to wake up Popeye. He woke up and tried to help me but nothing worked so we got in the car and went to the emergency room. They did a bunch of test and sent me home telling me that I ate something wrong and it would pass in a few days. Well a few days go by and my symptoms are worse and back to the emergency room we went. This time the doctor tells me that he has never seen anything like this and I would need to see a GI specialist. 

Fast forward a few weeks... I have a GI doctor now and he has ordered me to go undergo a colonoscopy. Few days later I have the diagnosis of a rare form of Chron's disease--my entire GI tract was overly inflamed and ulcerated. He tells me to change my diet by eliminating gluten, nuts, and minimizing my intake of diary. He also tells me that after a few weeks of this lifestyle change that I would start to see improvement. 

However, after a few weeks of changing my eating habits my symptoms are even worse and I am now on bedrest and slowly dying. Several more trips to the emergency room and attempted visits with my GI doctor I am left lost and in so much pain and extremely limited mobility. I make the decision to fire my GI doctor and get a new one. And then I also get a colorectal surgeon at the recommendation of another emergency room doctor. 

By this time, my parents are here to help Popeye take care of me because I am no longer able to take care of myself. I have incontinence from both sides of my body. I was fainting anytime I was on the toilet or in the shower. So my parents and husband are having to clean up a lot. Every time I pooped it felt like I was pooping out razors the size of 50 thousand fiery suns. I ended up with a fistula/fissure that excreted some weird discharge which we later discover was a blessing. 

It was so scary. My heartbreaks for Popeye, he has had to see and do things that no husband should have to do for a wife. But I thank God for that man. I know I wouldn't have made it without him and my parents. They endured many poop accidents from the bed to the bathroom floor because I couldn't move fast enough or my body decided it was doing it without warning. The pain was so intense that I would faint and then my body would empty itself it was so embarrassing. I hated that as 36 year old I couldn't even clean myself up anymore. I didn't have the strength. I lost 55 pounds in 6 weeks. Not the best way to lose weight if you ask me. 

My new GI doctor and Colorectal surgeon came up with a plan to try to help because we all thought that without a plan or a miracle I was not going to see my birthday. God blessed me with such amazing doctors. I have about 6 or  7 different providers and they all take the time to listen to me and communicate with each other so that we are all on the same page. 

By April--no medication to include any type of antibiotics were helping me...in fact, antibiotics were making it worse. So now I can no longer use antibiotics-they literally try to kill me. By this point, I now have several infections (the drainage from the fistula/fissure being one) but I can't take antibiotics. So the fact, that fistula/fissure was draining was a good thing because it mean that at least that infection was slowly leaving my body. The rest of it would be up to God. He would be my medication.

Anyway, the only option at this point was surgery.  I ended up with an ileostomy bag and my colon partially shut down. We don't know how long this will be in place. However, the hope is that one day my body will be better enough to reverse the surgery. Till then I am super thankful for this bag. I name the stoma/bag Maria Consuelo.

At the beginning of May, I had some complication and was bleeding internally (not related to the surgery) and ended back in the hospital. I had to get several units of blood because I had become so severely anemic. At the end of May I started an IV treatment called Remicade and a pill called Imuran. This combination is a blessing as it is also treating my Myasthenia Gravis.  

By the middle of June I was completely off of bedrest and was using a walker to get around. It would take a few more weeks before I would be able to put the walker aside and could walk on my own .

Because of how much care I needed Popeye had to forfeit his military orders and his command let him stay home to be my caregiver while I needed him. Thankfully, after 8 months he was able to go back to work and I was able to "function". I have several limitation and challenges on the daily but I am so thankful for the healing and progress God has given me. 

I am now able to walk with out assistance. I can take care of my personal needs and am no longer on bed rest. Being on bedrest for 6 months is terrible and I empathize for those who are on it long term. 

July--my Guam mom and sister came to visit which was so very much needed and a blessing. I miss them so much.

Anyway, 2021 also brought us a new dog. Her name is Roxy and she is a full-bred German Shepherd. We got her in October. She is a little over a year and about 60 pounds. She, however, thinks that she is a 10 pound lap dog. She has two speeds 1)sleep and 2) 150 miles per hour. There is no in-between. It took the three dogs several weeks to adjust to each other. 

December brought an awesome Christmas gift-- my brother came to visit us. I hadn't seen him since our abuelita passed away back in 2019. Oh I can't forget that earlier in the year my godmother came to visit while my parents were still here. That was such an amazing weekend.

Ya'll Betty White passed away. This hurt my heart so much. She was the last of my Golden Girls living. I have watched most of the things she has acted in. If I had to pick a famous person that was my favorite. It would be her. I am in mourning. I fell like I lost my abuelita all over again. As a child we used to watch it together. My abuelita would laugh so hard and I would laugh just because she was laughing. Now that I am older and watch it I laugh hard and always think of my dear abuelita. Betty White will truly be missed in my world. 

Throughout this whole illness/year I have had many people: friends, family, and strangers all around the world praying for me. And I know that I was able to see the close of 2021 because God answered their prayers. So to those of you readers who were praying I thank you for the prayers. Lord knows I needed them and still need them.

A few lessons I learned this year:

1. God is on the bathroom floor. He met me there many times as I laid on the floor in pain or from fainting.
2. There is major power in prayer--I would not be here if it weren't for people praying
3. God has a plan for my life--what that is I am not sure--but I am praying and trusting Him to show me.
4. There are still good people in this world
5. The mind and body are incredible for many reasons
6. The word equanimity--it ended up being the word of year. I learned its truly okay to be still and not do 50 million things. Its okay to just wake up and shower and call it a day. Some days that is enough. 

Well with that said thank you for stinking with me through this very long post. I hope your year ended on a good note. I will write a new year post in a bit. 

Always,

Simply That..

2020

2020 was quite the year. (This will be a very loose interpretation). It started out with Australia having part of it on fire. We thought we were heading into a third world war. The end of January brought the world the first biggest tragedy of the year in my opinion--an airplane crashed killing 9 people. Everyone felt the sadness of the families all affected by this crash but the biggest shocker and pain was that of Kobe Bryant and his beloved daughter. We should have known that if all of this could happen in January that we were heading into a year full of crazy.

Once we recovered from that and were beginning to think that life would get better and that 2020 would live up to be an amazing year things started going down hill. People started getting sick and things started disappearing off shelves at the grocery stores. Enter Covid 19 aka Corona virus. The virus that literally became a pandemic. It shut down everything and everyone. Toilet paper disappeared--as in you had to go to the underground black market to get some toilet paper it was crazy. I never understood the toilet paper craze...the only thing that I could gather is that the greater population learned for the first time in their lives to wash their hands and didn't learn that you use a paper towel or a towel to dry your hands.

As toilet paper was disappearing so was cleaning supplies and then.....(saw this photo on Pinterest--I enjoyed watching "The Big Bang Theory" you should watch it)

So not only were people learning to wash their hands and body in 2020 but they apparently learned how to clean their homes or working environment. Its really a phenomenal phenomenon. These are two habits that I have had for as long as I can remember so watching from the sidelines the amount of people who were acting that this was such a novel idea and were radically changing their lives was mind blowing.

By late spring the death rate was unbelievably high all around the globe. It was so heartbreaking to watch and hear these stories. So facial masks also became the new normal. This caused so much angst in people. So as a result of this pandemic a few things are normal these days, social distancing (that people seem to think is a suggestion), facial masks, and cleaning oneself and environment. Its actually disturbing how many people didn't wash their hands. Ewww 😖

Anyway in the midst of the pandemic evilness showed its ugly face. And the black community took some major hits with the unjust and brutal killings of way tooo many black men and women. People everywhere were beyond angry and wanted justice to be fulfilled. Things continued to get ugly. It is sad that people of color (whether they are black, brown, purple etc) had to get so angry and start protesting for people/politics to see that at the end of the day all that is being asked is to see them as equal and give them the same respect and justice system and the non people of color population. And that is all i am going to say on this topic. I have much more thoughts and opinions on this topic, however, I will keep that to myself until I am better able to voice it.

2020 was also an election year and history was made several times over during this election cycle. It was a very messy process. People came out in numbers to vote. History was made for females and for females of color. 

2020 also brought me and many others searching for peace, balance, and God. So much more has happened in 2020 and if I were to recount everything that happened I would be here all day.  And no one has time for that. 

So how did my year end--the same way it started--at home enjoying my Popeye and crazy dogs . My word for the year was grace. I had to learn to give myself and others grace. I am by no means an expert but I did learn a lot about grace. It feels great not to have the extra pressure on my shoulder to be perfect or fit some type of mold. I learned to be extra thankful for my blessings however big or small. 

So now that 600 days of 2020 are over and we are in 2021 I am hoping that things get better. I hope to post more this year. But I won't make that promise so that I don't disappoint your expectations. But I do thank you, my dear reader, for sticking with me through my silent times. Happy new year and may it be filled with lots of grace and blessings. 

Emotions

I usually write about the lessons I have learned or the hope that I have and my faith. But today, it will be different. I am lost in my head and emotions. I am not even sure what triggered it or when it began. All I know is that I am exhausted. I am exhausted from working extra hours and having two jobs. I love both of my jobs. Well, I love one more than the other. I am exhausted for having to be the strong one for everyone. Mind you, I don't mind at all. I love that people feel like they can come to me and talk and they know that I will listen and/or pray. I don't do any of the things I do for a reward or to run as a tally but I have days (moreso lately) that  I just downright feel unappreciated. 

I feel confused as to what am I supposed to be doing in life. My degrees are in social work. However, I currently work as a cashier on base and a part-time nanny. I feel the pressure of "needing" to go back to social work. But I also have a feeling in my soul that my life as a social worker is carved differently. I see it when I am at work on base. Its all confusing and at times frustrating. 

I love helping people. I love trying to make people feel happy, loved, and valued. We are currently living in the midst of a pandemic. Everyone is confused, lost, and trying to figure out what the new "normal" will be. While most people I have come across have been nice and kind, I have also come across some mean and grumpy people. These are some trying times. 

I miss my grandma. I am still sad that she is gone but so thankful she is not here to deal with the craziness and truama of COVID-19. I miss my family. 

Sometimes, I feel like while I may say I have friends I feel as if my level of importance to them is not the same as they are to me. (At least for the majority of them. There are a few that I know we are the same both ways) Does that make sense? 

Anyway, I just have a lot on my mind and am full of emotions. I have to take one step at a time to figure it all out. Till then I am just confused and emotional. 

My journey towards weight loss--updated

This picture is a comparison between September 2019 and March 2020.

I am so proud of myself for the progress I have made. But let me tell you this has not been an easy journey. In fact, this road was similar to a roller coaster ride with lots of ups, downs, and wild turns. 

I have started this journey so many times. The very first time I started on the weight loss journey was after my second miscarriage. Since then it has been an uphill battle to get weight off.

I tried many "diets", working out and incorporating healthier food options. None of it worked work me. I joined several gyms through that time. But again nothing seemed to work. I had started to go to a dark place when it came to my weight. It would be made worse by stupid people who would see me at the store or while I was out and about and ask me "Are you pregnant?" "When are you due?"  Depending on my mood my responses would vary from "I am not pregnant but thank you for reminding me that I am fat", "Oh, I just had a miscarriage so thank you for being an insensitive jerk", "Oh, you may have me confused with someone else because I am not pregnant". Sometimes I would just smile and walk away or I would glare and walk away. I admit my reactions at time were not so nice but I seriously hate those two questions. They are right up there with two other questions I hear: "When are you having kids? and "Are you going to go back to your social work career?" But I digress.

So what changed, you may ask. Honestly, I am not sure. I just know that weight wise I was the heaviest I had been in my entire life, stress was high, and I felt like I would stab the next person in the jugular that asked me if I was pregnant. Not a good place to be. I joined my last gym and saw very little progress after a month of going 3-4 times a week. Then life hit me hard and I decided to leave the gym because I was no longer able to attend or afford the membership.

I woke up one morning after canceling my membership at the gym and asked myself why I wasn't utilizing the equipment I have in my house. You see, I have a treadmill, free weights, a bench, and a copious amount of workout dvds (that at some point in my life I had enjoy doing). So I decided that I would go back to doing them and using my equipment. I even committed to walking the dogs more. Don't get me wrong, I try to regularly walk the dogs but there is always room for improvement and they sure do love being outside. Anyway, I digress again...

So with my love for the dvd and treadmill in my house reignited I decided to put it on my calendar and then start tackling my eating habits. That my friend, is no easy task. Eating is such a complex thing yet so simple all at the same time. I am a vegetarian but had finally realized that as an adult I was an unhealthy vegetarian. You would think being a veggie that I would eat lots of veggies, fruits,  all things healthy. BUT that was so far from the truth for me.

The more I looked at myself and what I was putting in my mouth I was a bit horrified. I had to finally admit to myself that I was part of my problem. So I slowly started weaning myself from some of the junk I was eating and was slowing incorporating healthier options. This was and is a "painful" process. I would sometimes self-sabotage and convince myself that it was okay if I didn't eat it today because I could eat it tomorrow. But we all know that tomorrow never comes. This went on from about October to pretty much the end of the year.

In December I decided that 2020 was going to be different. I started claiming that 2020 is going to be different year and its going to be a better year. I am going to find better health and get rid of this weight once and for all.

January comes around and I found myself being more active and actually eating a healthier breakfast and trying to do so for the rest of my meals for the day. I noticed that I had decreased the amount of excuses and  cheat days. By the end of J an I had realized that I actually was starting to lose weight (according to the scale) but I couldn't see it physically. This was a turning point for me.

I incorporated one more change: instead of being obsessed with weighing myself everyday, I decided that I would weigh and log my weight on the first of every month. By February I was on a roll and while my weight loss journey was a slow moving train I at least was finally starting to lose weight and keep it off.

One of my best friends Audrey and I decided that we would do a detox together. We wanted to do this so that we could reset our pallets, and continue our journey of better health and weight loss. So we committed to do it for 21 days in March. Guys, let me tell you that was that hardest 21 days of my life. We did the Daniel Fast diet. We tried to do the whole thing of food and spirituality but the food part kind of took over. As a result I think I want to do it again at a later time so that I can focus more on the spiritual side of things.

There are many rules and restrictions in the Daniel fast. In summary, its essentially the ultimate elimination diet. If its processed or in a package you can't eat it. It forces you to make things from scratch, which I did enjoy doing towards the end of it. The 21 days ended and I was thankful and was looking forward to many things I hadn't had in the 3 weeks. BUT, much to my surprise my taste buds changed and I find myself low-key wishing I had stayed on the fast. I did drop a couple of pounds and inches. But my biggest victory in all honesty is that my constant state of being bloated had dissipated. Praise God, being bloated is so uncomfortable so not having that issue has been freeing and game changer.

And here we are in April, since September of 2020 I have lost 18 pounds and 3 inches around my tummy. This is just the beginning. I am going to continue of this journey to better health and losing weight. It is not easy but now that I am finally able to see the difference I am even more motivated to continue and not give up like many times before.

Thank you Audrey for doing it with me and thank you to everyone who has been praying for me along my journey of trying and struggling to lose weight. I will keep you guys posted on this journey.

Season versus Lifetime

For those of you who communicate with me on a regular have heard me mention at one time or another about people being seasons or trees. It is something that I learned in life but was reminded through the words of Madea for all you Tyler Perry fans.

Madea mentions that people are in our life either for a season or a lifetime. If people are in your life for a season, let them go when their season is over. Don't hang on to them.

We often get them confused. I know I do at times. We hold on to people who were to be seasons and let go of the lifetime people. I think that if someone is in your life for a season, they were there to help you learn a lesson or several lessons. Once the lessons are learned and you have grown, please don't hang on to that person. The longer you do, eventually you are going to get hurt. Lifetime people, they are like the roots of trees. They help you grow and are there for you no matter the weather forecast. When life gets tough and you feel like you are going to come crashing to the ground they are there to keep you standing. When you find a lifetime  person or root, hang on to them and don't let go. These people will be with you through the good, the bad and the ugly.

This principle can be applied to any type of relationship, whether it be just a friend, best friend or significant other. In my experience, seasonal people are very good people in our life but just for that season. By trying to make them last a lifetime, becomes stressful, emotionally draining, and causes a lot of pain. However, lifetime people are there during those time, to help you get back up and realize the growth and that you are even stronger than you thought especially when a season is abruptly cut short.

I say all of this because this year, I was forced to say goodbye to two people I thought were lifetime people. Both friendships ended so abruptly it was beyond shocking. I am not sure why the friendship ended to be perfectly honest. But I do thank them for their season and the lessons they taught me. But, I am even more thankful to God for my lifetime people because they are standing by to help me overcome my pain. I wish those two people all the best in life and may they find what they are searching for.

Lucky?

This has been quite the year. Many ups and down but overall I am beyond blessed. I am so not worthy of any of the blessings that I have. I am so grateful for each of them. God is truly loving and faithful.

Over the past few months, as I slowly share my blessings with others their response tends to be "wow you are so lucky". I am quick to reply "its all God". Truly, everything I have in life is because of God. I pray so much and try my hardest to always rely on God. I can't make it through a day without Him.

So on a quick note, some of the blessings that I have received this year has been my job, being able to spend time with Popeye, finally paying off my credit card debt, and my health is slowly getting better.

At my job, this job was a gift from God. For years my mom was concerned with the fact that I haven't worked since 2012. But I kept telling her that God told me to "be still". So for the past 6 years, I tried to be as still as I could be (which those of you that me on a personal level know how hard that is for me). But I stayed still as for as work is concerned. I did try a job for a few weeks while on Guam and it was a disaster. It made me realize that when God is ready for me to go back to work He would open the door. Friend, when I tell you waiting on God for a job was the best thing ever. This job has been blessing me in ways that I could not have imagined or expected. I am blessed with a good boss. I call her "boss lady". She thinks I am ridiculous for calling her that but she answers to it lol. I have no idea where I got that from or why I call her that but it stuck and I can't call her anything else. I try calling her by her first name but it always comes out as "boss lady". She is a praying woman and it has been a blessing to have a boss that has a relationship with God. It definitely helps when there are bad days at work. She is very understanding and fair.  I have a few awesome coworkers. One in particular, whom I will name "Josephine" she has been such a great friend and coworker. Lord, knows I need her in my life. We share the same birthday. We love to laugh and enjoy life. But most of all, I learn so much from her. God put us together for a reason. One of those reasons is to help me realize that I have been Jonah (that post coming soon) for so long and just needed to stop running. So thank you Josephine for helping me realize that. You are a blessing more than you will ever realize.

At home, having time with Popeye is still a weird concept but I am loving it. We are both always working or tired so we don't do a lot of exploring in our new city. However, we make the most of the time we do have together. We are learning each other like its our first year of marriage because we have been apart for so long up till November 2017. Its been challenging but fun. I love my Popeye.

Finances, we still have a long way to go before we hit financial freedom. But we are plugging away at it one day at a time. We are slowly working our debt following the snowball effect and Dave Ramsey.

Through all of this and so much more, I have prayed and stayed before God. None of the above would have been possible had it not been for Him. Anyway, I am done rambling now but to answer those that keep telling me I am lucky. No, friend, I am not lucky. I have prayed and prayed and prayed some more. But really now I must get back to cleaning my house and getting ready for my upcoming work week. But remember....

Life after Guam and some ramblings.

Guam was amazing. Guam was beautiful. Guam taught me many lessons. Guam felt like home. Guam made me feel closer to God. Guam changed me.

Its been 8 months since Popeye and I moved back to the mainland and left my tiny island behind. Oh how I miss Guam. I miss the people, the food, the beaches, and my lifestyle there. It was simple. It was uncomplicated. It had it's challenges but it was amazing. I needed that time on Guam to prepare me for the life I live now.

It has been a very challenging transition. Our household goods were delayed by a month. We experienced a snow blizzard for the first time in over 5 year. I went back to work--I am not longer a stay at home wife and a professional volunteer. Man I miss those days. We have had so many car troubles. And making friends and connections has been difficult. I continue to battle health issues. And for the first time in a very long time. I get to be a wife. Popeye comes home every day. It is such a weird concept to me. Although, the job he has now and their schedule it sometimes still feels like he is on the submarine and has gone underway. The options here are endless. I continue to have a hard time choosing which store, restaurant, etc to go to because there is soooo many to choose from. Its not like on Guam where I had my choice of Ross, Micronesia Mall, NEX, GPO, or Tumon Bay. There are several Targets, Rosses, TJMaxx, just to name a few. What is a girl to do?


Its been 8 months, we have unpacked. I started working, been there 6 months so far. We are trying to get into good routines and habits. God has been blessing us in so many ways. Most recently, I finally paid off my credit card debt. It took a long time to get there but its paid off. Such a great feeling and blessing. There are so many other blessings we have received since being back in the states. So why do I feel so lost and confused. Why do I feel like a part of me is missing? Why do I long for my simple days filled with laughter and adventure as my days were on Guam? Why do I feel so disconnected from God? Where do I go since I don't have my "spot" where I would go to meet God and talk and let go? Why haven't I found that place here? God has us here for a reason, so I am trying to embrace it and follow His lead. He never leads us wrong. I just hope my own thoughts and emotions don't get in the way (that's for another post on a different day). Its definitely a journey.


Life after Guam is hard. Its complicated, There are too many choices, decisions, and options. Too many of everything. People are less connected yet still connected in some way. For example, on Guam, I knew all my neighbors and we made sure to check in with each other every now and then. Here, that is not a thing. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to connect with my neighbors. It just isn't what people do here at least where I live now. Everyone has their own cliche. I don't have a cliche. I have my Popeye, my dog, my coworkers, my Panda, a friend from church, and my friend who used to be a neighbor. Granted that is all I can handle these days because I don't have time for anything else not even for some me time. I am currently sacrificing sleep to type this out. And I am not even sure why.

Life after Guam, its not what I thought it would be. I am not sure what I thought it would be. But it most definitely is not this. Please don't misunderstand me. I am truly grateful for where I am in life at this very moment. I love my house and job. I love having Popeye home more often. But something is definitely missing. I am not sure what that is. And maybe its just me and I need to change the way I am looking at life at the moment. Maybe I really do need to take a break, get some rest so that I can get out of the "I'm always tired" funk. Either way I am embarking on a new journey and if you are up for it you are welcomed to join me. I can't promise I will post often but I will try to keep you up to speed.

Well that is all the ramblings I have time for today. Life after Guam is interesting. As always, lean on God and let Him carry you. Its what I am trying to do as I go through my new "normal/life".

Till next time....

Miscarriages, the ugly, the bad and the life changing lessons

The past year year has been very difficult for me in so many ways. However, I won't bore you with all the depressing details. But I do want to share with you one of the situations I had to face since I am now able to talk about it without feeling like I am losing my mind. 

In the past year, I had several miscarriages. This has not been an easy road. In fact, it has been rough, challenging, and beyond painful. I will try my best to convey the feelings, emotions, and turmoil I have been living the past year. 

The first miscarriage came after a miracle. Prior to Popeye and I conceiving, I had been told by numerous doctors that I would not be able to carry full term and that the only means for us to have children would be to have a surrogate mother or adopt. We had tried several methods and medications (within our financial means) and nothing had proven to be effective. So after much testing the deemed me incapable of conceiving . That was such a hard concept to grasp. We had been trying for 3 years at that point with no avail. I had cried and yelled at God on numerous occasions. I no longer knew how to cry and deep sadness had turned into bitterness and a dark heart. I didn't care anymore and things that would normally make me cry, all I could say was I am so sorry to hear and my heart would break but I had no more tears to cry. It took me over a year to come to terms with that. But I finally had accepted it and had decided to enjoy life and love on other peoples children and started doing some research regarding adoption. We aren't planning on adopting at the moment, but it is something we will consider later on down the road when we are in a better financial state and a bit more stable in life. 

We were visiting my mother in law one holiday season, when Popeye asked the pastor of her church to pray for us as a couple because the military life is very taxing and takes a lot of prayer, hard work and commitment to survive. The pastor and one of the prayer warrior teams took us aside and prayed for us, our marriage and the safety of Popeye and his crew as they deploy often. Two of the ladies in the group praying for us, suddenly paused and looked at me and said to me, God has different plans, your body is not what the doctors say, and they began to pray over my womb. I began to cry, it was the first time in over a year that I had cried or shed a tear for that matter. A few weeks later, my husband and I were sitting on our couch when he looks at me and tells me that I am pregnant. We took a home test and sure enough, he was correct. God had answered prayers and performed a miracle. The next several weeks were a whirlwind. I had morning sickness very badly but I was enjoying every moment of it because it meant that there was a baby growing inside of me. Then one day just as quickly as it had started, everything stopped and life changed yet again. After a doctors appointment and several tests later, I was told I had miscarried. My heart broken into a trillion pieces. I cried until I could cry no more. I screamed at the ocean one evening until I had no voice. I couldn't function anymore. I didn't eat, I didn't clean, I didn't do much of anything. I stopped attending church, bible study, I even shut out a lot of my friends and family.  

I eventually went back to church and began functioning again. Shortly there after we got pregnant again. But unfortunately, that baby didn't make it either. The grief and pain came back with a vengeance.

People would tell me I know exactly how you feel or I totally get where you care coming from but they don't. Yes there are several people who sadly experience miscarriages but everyone is different. We are all on individual journeys even if situations are similar. It really angered me when people would say "I understand your pain", especially if they have a kid in their arms. Over time my heart became hardened and bitter. I have no more tears to cry and no more feelings. My heart is black. Sometimes I get sad or angry when I hear of others getting pregnant. And yet there are some that I'm genuinely happy and filled with joy at the news of their pregnancy. But I am not alone in this grief... He won't talk to me about it but I know it was and is hard for Popeye. I wish he would talk to me about it but all I can do is pray for him.  We all deal with grief differently.

Though this has been a painful process, God has shown me He is still in the miracle business. God keeps reminding me that He has a good plan despite the trials we face. He also has proven that He won't give up on me even though I gave up on Him. I still have a long way to go but I'm definitely on the road to healing and restoration.

Good Friday 2017

Every year on Good Friday, most of the island of Guam walk up the steep mountain that leads to the crosses. They bring up a cross, do the stations of the crosses and so much more. I have done it every year since I have been here. This year though, has been the best experience yet. I tend to go earlier than most because i love watching the sunrise. And the crowd is not as congested so I am able to take my time at the top and spend some uninterrupted time with God. This hike for me is always life changing because its my tangible real life experience of leaving my inner thoughts and emotions at the foot of the cross. This year though I have prayed and given it to God, I was really looking forward to this hike so that I can physically dump all the baggage I have been carrying for so long. It was definitely healing and while I still have a long way to go with God, I am on the right path. 

Here are a few of the amazing things I saw along my journey...