Moments in a dog life...

Mara Jade and Yoda are so cute. I love them together. 

Sock gremlins

The sock gremlins strick again. I am not sure how a pair of socks can enter the washer machine, come out together and enter the dryer and then come out solo. This is a mystery i have yet to solve. I have folded all the clothes that were apart of that load and yet they are missing. Where did they go? Why did they leave me? Socks please come back. My feet need you!!

Yoda and Mara Jade

True Story

This is my life on a regular basis...

Thank you Pinterest for finding these funny nuggets about my life for me.

Prayer

I saw this on pinterest today. I felt this in my soul. Nothing necessarily is wrong. I am just exhausted. I also feel like I can't  complain. There are people who work more than me and have harder situations than I do. I know they have to be exhausted. But knowing that there are others who are worse off than me in the exhaustion department doesn't negate the fact that I am indeed exhausted. 

Life these days is a challenge. Finding a balance has taken on a new outfit. I am not sure what my new "normal" or balance is. I just know life is daily changing. 

This weekend, I took sometime to truly relax. I spent time with God and did a Golden Girls marathon. While, I still feel drained and exhausted, I do feel a bit recharged. 

As I look into the face of a new week, I remind myself to be thankful and to ask God to carry me as I repeat  the prayer above.

Emotions

I usually write about the lessons I have learned or the hope that I have and my faith. But today, it will be different. I am lost in my head and emotions. I am not even sure what triggered it or when it began. All I know is that I am exhausted. I am exhausted from working extra hours and having two jobs. I love both of my jobs. Well, I love one more than the other. I am exhausted for having to be the strong one for everyone. Mind you, I don't mind at all. I love that people feel like they can come to me and talk and they know that I will listen and/or pray. I don't do any of the things I do for a reward or to run as a tally but I have days (moreso lately) that  I just downright feel unappreciated. 

I feel confused as to what am I supposed to be doing in life. My degrees are in social work. However, I currently work as a cashier on base and a part-time nanny. I feel the pressure of "needing" to go back to social work. But I also have a feeling in my soul that my life as a social worker is carved differently. I see it when I am at work on base. Its all confusing and at times frustrating. 

I love helping people. I love trying to make people feel happy, loved, and valued. We are currently living in the midst of a pandemic. Everyone is confused, lost, and trying to figure out what the new "normal" will be. While most people I have come across have been nice and kind, I have also come across some mean and grumpy people. These are some trying times. 

I miss my grandma. I am still sad that she is gone but so thankful she is not here to deal with the craziness and truama of COVID-19. I miss my family. 

Sometimes, I feel like while I may say I have friends I feel as if my level of importance to them is not the same as they are to me. (At least for the majority of them. There are a few that I know we are the same both ways) Does that make sense? 

Anyway, I just have a lot on my mind and am full of emotions. I have to take one step at a time to figure it all out. Till then I am just confused and emotional. 

Lemon Crinkle Cookies

Oh gosh, guys!!! You need to try these cookies. I found this recipe on this website. It is so amazing! Super simple and easy to make. I will say that in her recipe she used gluten free flour, I didn't have that and used all purpose flour. I do plan on making it again with the gluten free flour. I have been following Thyme and Joy  for a few months and have tried several of the recipes. You guys, if you are looking to try some new recipes during this quarantine, check out her website. There is something there for everyone.

I highly recommend these cookies. You know you want some. 

Mara Jade

Yoda and Mara Jade trying to convince me that they need to help me make bread.

Meet Mara Jade our newest addition to our pack.. i just realized that I never introduced you guys to her. We think she is a Carolina dog mix. But that is still to be determined. 

Anyway, Mara Jade is 2. We have had her for about 1.5 years now. We got her from one of the local shelters her in South Carolina. She and Yoda bonded over being rescue puppies. She is so sweet and is a "talker". She loves hanging with Yoda and running like a maniac in our backyard. 

So Yoda favorite person is Popeye and I'm Mara Jade's favorite. 

The two of them together are entertaining. And yes they both drive me crazy at times...

God given hope

What is 2020? This has been such a strange and difficult year so far. One thing that is unchanging as the world continues to change is that God is in control and is right there with us in the thick of the chaos.

Things around me are so confusing and I can't keep up with all the changes. But knowing God is with me through this gives me hope and peace. Despite the chaos, hysteria, and manic panic I still believe that 2020 is going to be a year of seeing clearly and double portions in blessings. 

The most recent thing I found to be thankful for in middle of the COVID-19 pandemic  is that my grandma is not here for it. I miss my grandma dearly and wish she was still alive most days. But given the issues my grandma had her last few weeks of life and how cruel this virus is, she would not have been able to fight it. And it would have devastated our family if she had passed away and we were unable to visit her because we are all on lockdown. God did my family a favor by letting her rest and not suffer any longer. God is so loving and gracious. 

As things continue to evolve, I ask that you please stay safe. Take care of yourself and your family. Keep holding onto God. 

I pray for all of you my, dear readers, and I pray that healing comes soon for the world.

My journey towards weight loss--updated

This picture is a comparison between September 2019 and March 2020.

I am so proud of myself for the progress I have made. But let me tell you this has not been an easy journey. In fact, this road was similar to a roller coaster ride with lots of ups, downs, and wild turns. 

I have started this journey so many times. The very first time I started on the weight loss journey was after my second miscarriage. Since then it has been an uphill battle to get weight off.

I tried many "diets", working out and incorporating healthier food options. None of it worked work me. I joined several gyms through that time. But again nothing seemed to work. I had started to go to a dark place when it came to my weight. It would be made worse by stupid people who would see me at the store or while I was out and about and ask me "Are you pregnant?" "When are you due?"  Depending on my mood my responses would vary from "I am not pregnant but thank you for reminding me that I am fat", "Oh, I just had a miscarriage so thank you for being an insensitive jerk", "Oh, you may have me confused with someone else because I am not pregnant". Sometimes I would just smile and walk away or I would glare and walk away. I admit my reactions at time were not so nice but I seriously hate those two questions. They are right up there with two other questions I hear: "When are you having kids? and "Are you going to go back to your social work career?" But I digress.

So what changed, you may ask. Honestly, I am not sure. I just know that weight wise I was the heaviest I had been in my entire life, stress was high, and I felt like I would stab the next person in the jugular that asked me if I was pregnant. Not a good place to be. I joined my last gym and saw very little progress after a month of going 3-4 times a week. Then life hit me hard and I decided to leave the gym because I was no longer able to attend or afford the membership.

I woke up one morning after canceling my membership at the gym and asked myself why I wasn't utilizing the equipment I have in my house. You see, I have a treadmill, free weights, a bench, and a copious amount of workout dvds (that at some point in my life I had enjoy doing). So I decided that I would go back to doing them and using my equipment. I even committed to walking the dogs more. Don't get me wrong, I try to regularly walk the dogs but there is always room for improvement and they sure do love being outside. Anyway, I digress again...

So with my love for the dvd and treadmill in my house reignited I decided to put it on my calendar and then start tackling my eating habits. That my friend, is no easy task. Eating is such a complex thing yet so simple all at the same time. I am a vegetarian but had finally realized that as an adult I was an unhealthy vegetarian. You would think being a veggie that I would eat lots of veggies, fruits,  all things healthy. BUT that was so far from the truth for me.

The more I looked at myself and what I was putting in my mouth I was a bit horrified. I had to finally admit to myself that I was part of my problem. So I slowly started weaning myself from some of the junk I was eating and was slowing incorporating healthier options. This was and is a "painful" process. I would sometimes self-sabotage and convince myself that it was okay if I didn't eat it today because I could eat it tomorrow. But we all know that tomorrow never comes. This went on from about October to pretty much the end of the year.

In December I decided that 2020 was going to be different. I started claiming that 2020 is going to be different year and its going to be a better year. I am going to find better health and get rid of this weight once and for all.

January comes around and I found myself being more active and actually eating a healthier breakfast and trying to do so for the rest of my meals for the day. I noticed that I had decreased the amount of excuses and  cheat days. By the end of J an I had realized that I actually was starting to lose weight (according to the scale) but I couldn't see it physically. This was a turning point for me.

I incorporated one more change: instead of being obsessed with weighing myself everyday, I decided that I would weigh and log my weight on the first of every month. By February I was on a roll and while my weight loss journey was a slow moving train I at least was finally starting to lose weight and keep it off.

One of my best friends Audrey and I decided that we would do a detox together. We wanted to do this so that we could reset our pallets, and continue our journey of better health and weight loss. So we committed to do it for 21 days in March. Guys, let me tell you that was that hardest 21 days of my life. We did the Daniel Fast diet. We tried to do the whole thing of food and spirituality but the food part kind of took over. As a result I think I want to do it again at a later time so that I can focus more on the spiritual side of things.

There are many rules and restrictions in the Daniel fast. In summary, its essentially the ultimate elimination diet. If its processed or in a package you can't eat it. It forces you to make things from scratch, which I did enjoy doing towards the end of it. The 21 days ended and I was thankful and was looking forward to many things I hadn't had in the 3 weeks. BUT, much to my surprise my taste buds changed and I find myself low-key wishing I had stayed on the fast. I did drop a couple of pounds and inches. But my biggest victory in all honesty is that my constant state of being bloated had dissipated. Praise God, being bloated is so uncomfortable so not having that issue has been freeing and game changer.

And here we are in April, since September of 2020 I have lost 18 pounds and 3 inches around my tummy. This is just the beginning. I am going to continue of this journey to better health and losing weight. It is not easy but now that I am finally able to see the difference I am even more motivated to continue and not give up like many times before.

Thank you Audrey for doing it with me and thank you to everyone who has been praying for me along my journey of trying and struggling to lose weight. I will keep you guys posted on this journey.

Belated Happy New Year

Dear Readers,

I just realized I have yet to wish you all a happy new year. I do apologize. 

Happy New Year dear readers. I hope your year is off to a good start. I wish you all the best and many blessings to come your way all year long. 

So far 2020 has been an interesting year. The Chiefs won the superbowl and Kobe Bryant passed away. Its so unreal. I don't know about your area, but the weather here has been completely insane. One minute its high 70s the next its high 40s. 

Despite the oddities of the year thus far, it has been a good year for me. I am claiming that this year is a year of clear vision (20/20) and a year of double portions in blessings and miracles. I pray that we all see the truth in our lives and those around us. I pray that we all recieve the blessings and miracles that we seek and need in our lives.

My word this year that the Lord keeps bringing to my attention is grace..

I am not sure where this journey will lead me but I can say that so far I am learning to extend grace to myself and others.

What's your word for the year? Any goals or life changing events happening in your world? Feel free to drop a note and share with me.

quick morning laugh

Books

This is something I need to do when reading a book. I guess this is why I am not that into e-readers. Both ways of reading has their pros and cons.. Are you a book sniffer like me?