Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Sunday, August 12, 2018
Life after Guam and some ramblings.
Guam was amazing. Guam was beautiful. Guam taught me many lessons. Guam felt like home. Guam made me feel closer to God. Guam changed me.
Its been 8 months since Popeye and I moved back to the mainland and left my tiny island behind. Oh how I miss Guam. I miss the people, the food, the beaches, and my lifestyle there. It was simple. It was uncomplicated. It had it's challenges but it was amazing. I needed that time on Guam to prepare me for the life I live now.
It has been a very challenging transition. Our household goods were delayed by a month. We experienced a snow blizzard for the first time in over 5 year. I went back to work--I am not longer a stay at home wife and a professional volunteer. Man I miss those days. We have had so many car troubles. And making friends and connections has been difficult. I continue to battle health issues. And for the first time in a very long time. I get to be a wife. Popeye comes home every day. It is such a weird concept to me. Although, the job he has now and their schedule it sometimes still feels like he is on the submarine and has gone underway. The options here are endless. I continue to have a hard time choosing which store, restaurant, etc to go to because there is soooo many to choose from. Its not like on Guam where I had my choice of Ross, Micronesia Mall, NEX, GPO, or Tumon Bay. There are several Targets, Rosses, TJMaxx, just to name a few. What is a girl to do?
Its been 8 months, we have unpacked. I started working, been there 6 months so far. We are trying to get into good routines and habits. God has been blessing us in so many ways. Most recently, I finally paid off my credit card debt. It took a long time to get there but its paid off. Such a great feeling and blessing. There are so many other blessings we have received since being back in the states. So why do I feel so lost and confused. Why do I feel like a part of me is missing? Why do I long for my simple days filled with laughter and adventure as my days were on Guam? Why do I feel so disconnected from God? Where do I go since I don't have my "spot" where I would go to meet God and talk and let go? Why haven't I found that place here? God has us here for a reason, so I am trying to embrace it and follow His lead. He never leads us wrong. I just hope my own thoughts and emotions don't get in the way (that's for another post on a different day). Its definitely a journey.
Life after Guam is hard. Its complicated, There are too many choices, decisions, and options. Too many of everything. People are less connected yet still connected in some way. For example, on Guam, I knew all my neighbors and we made sure to check in with each other every now and then. Here, that is not a thing. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to connect with my neighbors. It just isn't what people do here at least where I live now. Everyone has their own cliche. I don't have a cliche. I have my Popeye, my dog, my coworkers, my Panda, a friend from church, and my friend who used to be a neighbor. Granted that is all I can handle these days because I don't have time for anything else not even for some me time. I am currently sacrificing sleep to type this out. And I am not even sure why.
Life after Guam, its not what I thought it would be. I am not sure what I thought it would be. But it most definitely is not this. Please don't misunderstand me. I am truly grateful for where I am in life at this very moment. I love my house and job. I love having Popeye home more often. But something is definitely missing. I am not sure what that is. And maybe its just me and I need to change the way I am looking at life at the moment. Maybe I really do need to take a break, get some rest so that I can get out of the "I'm always tired" funk. Either way I am embarking on a new journey and if you are up for it you are welcomed to join me. I can't promise I will post often but I will try to keep you up to speed.
Well that is all the ramblings I have time for today. Life after Guam is interesting. As always, lean on God and let Him carry you. Its what I am trying to do as I go through my new "normal/life".
Till next time....
Its been 8 months since Popeye and I moved back to the mainland and left my tiny island behind. Oh how I miss Guam. I miss the people, the food, the beaches, and my lifestyle there. It was simple. It was uncomplicated. It had it's challenges but it was amazing. I needed that time on Guam to prepare me for the life I live now.
It has been a very challenging transition. Our household goods were delayed by a month. We experienced a snow blizzard for the first time in over 5 year. I went back to work--I am not longer a stay at home wife and a professional volunteer. Man I miss those days. We have had so many car troubles. And making friends and connections has been difficult. I continue to battle health issues. And for the first time in a very long time. I get to be a wife. Popeye comes home every day. It is such a weird concept to me. Although, the job he has now and their schedule it sometimes still feels like he is on the submarine and has gone underway. The options here are endless. I continue to have a hard time choosing which store, restaurant, etc to go to because there is soooo many to choose from. Its not like on Guam where I had my choice of Ross, Micronesia Mall, NEX, GPO, or Tumon Bay. There are several Targets, Rosses, TJMaxx, just to name a few. What is a girl to do?
Its been 8 months, we have unpacked. I started working, been there 6 months so far. We are trying to get into good routines and habits. God has been blessing us in so many ways. Most recently, I finally paid off my credit card debt. It took a long time to get there but its paid off. Such a great feeling and blessing. There are so many other blessings we have received since being back in the states. So why do I feel so lost and confused. Why do I feel like a part of me is missing? Why do I long for my simple days filled with laughter and adventure as my days were on Guam? Why do I feel so disconnected from God? Where do I go since I don't have my "spot" where I would go to meet God and talk and let go? Why haven't I found that place here? God has us here for a reason, so I am trying to embrace it and follow His lead. He never leads us wrong. I just hope my own thoughts and emotions don't get in the way (that's for another post on a different day). Its definitely a journey.
Life after Guam is hard. Its complicated, There are too many choices, decisions, and options. Too many of everything. People are less connected yet still connected in some way. For example, on Guam, I knew all my neighbors and we made sure to check in with each other every now and then. Here, that is not a thing. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to connect with my neighbors. It just isn't what people do here at least where I live now. Everyone has their own cliche. I don't have a cliche. I have my Popeye, my dog, my coworkers, my Panda, a friend from church, and my friend who used to be a neighbor. Granted that is all I can handle these days because I don't have time for anything else not even for some me time. I am currently sacrificing sleep to type this out. And I am not even sure why.
Life after Guam, its not what I thought it would be. I am not sure what I thought it would be. But it most definitely is not this. Please don't misunderstand me. I am truly grateful for where I am in life at this very moment. I love my house and job. I love having Popeye home more often. But something is definitely missing. I am not sure what that is. And maybe its just me and I need to change the way I am looking at life at the moment. Maybe I really do need to take a break, get some rest so that I can get out of the "I'm always tired" funk. Either way I am embarking on a new journey and if you are up for it you are welcomed to join me. I can't promise I will post often but I will try to keep you up to speed.
Well that is all the ramblings I have time for today. Life after Guam is interesting. As always, lean on God and let Him carry you. Its what I am trying to do as I go through my new "normal/life".
Till next time....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)