The following is from the devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It is dated July 18 and can be found on page 209.
I am nearer than you think, richly present in all your moments. You are connected to Me by Love-bonds that nothing can server. However, you may sometimes feel alone, because your union with Me is invisible. Ask Me to open your eyes, so that you can find Me everywhere. The more aware you are of My Presence, the safer you feel. This is not some sort of escape from reality; its is tuning in to ultimate reality. I am for more Real than the world you can see, hear, and touch, Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.
Acts 17:27-28; Hebrews 11:1 (Amp)
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Thought of the day July 17, 2013
The following is from my women's devotion Blessed edited by Ardis Dick Stenbakken. This particular entry was written by Cleopatra Wallace on page 205 dated July 17. I am sharing this with you because it really spoke to me today as I was having a bad morning.
Standing Up For God
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Prov. 3:5,6, NKJV
Becoming a nurse anesthetist had been my lifelong dream and passion, and my prayers for years. Since leaving Northern Caribbean University in 1998, I had made my request known to God and worked diligently towards that goal.
In 2010 I was granted an interview for acceptance into the program at a prestigious school. Each applicant had to sit through two different interviewer panels. After completing the first interview I was directed to the second room. The last interviewer who spoke to me was the program director. She said, "Cleopatra, I see that you took a class this summer and made a B in it. If you can take only one class and still earn just a B, how are you going to take four classes and makes A's? Don't you know that A's are important? I really don't think you're a good fit for such a strenuous program." My heart sank when I heard that. I tried to explain myself, but most of all I trusted in God.
For the particular class she had referred to, all the exams were online, and the instructor told us that we should do the exam alone. Some of my classmates were surprised that I was actually doing it alone and encouraged me to write the exam with them. I was tempted, but decided to do the right thing even if it meant failing. At least I would do it honestly.
After leaving the interview, I continued to pray, and I also asked for prayer. I have always believed in "much prayer, much power." You can only imagine how elated I was when I received the call the next day that I had been accepted into the program. Indeed, when you stand up for God, He will stand up for you.
God hears our deepest desires, utterances, and cries. He knows our hearts, and He will withhold nothing good from His children. Why don't we trust Him today? I have had many failures and heartaches working toward my goal, but all things do work for good when your serve Him. I am just starting my journey--which will be a tedious one--but I know that God is mighty and just to grant the desires of my heart. "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires" (Ps. 37:4, NLT).
Written by Cleopatra Wallace
Standing Up For God
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Prov. 3:5,6, NKJV
Becoming a nurse anesthetist had been my lifelong dream and passion, and my prayers for years. Since leaving Northern Caribbean University in 1998, I had made my request known to God and worked diligently towards that goal.
In 2010 I was granted an interview for acceptance into the program at a prestigious school. Each applicant had to sit through two different interviewer panels. After completing the first interview I was directed to the second room. The last interviewer who spoke to me was the program director. She said, "Cleopatra, I see that you took a class this summer and made a B in it. If you can take only one class and still earn just a B, how are you going to take four classes and makes A's? Don't you know that A's are important? I really don't think you're a good fit for such a strenuous program." My heart sank when I heard that. I tried to explain myself, but most of all I trusted in God.
For the particular class she had referred to, all the exams were online, and the instructor told us that we should do the exam alone. Some of my classmates were surprised that I was actually doing it alone and encouraged me to write the exam with them. I was tempted, but decided to do the right thing even if it meant failing. At least I would do it honestly.
After leaving the interview, I continued to pray, and I also asked for prayer. I have always believed in "much prayer, much power." You can only imagine how elated I was when I received the call the next day that I had been accepted into the program. Indeed, when you stand up for God, He will stand up for you.
God hears our deepest desires, utterances, and cries. He knows our hearts, and He will withhold nothing good from His children. Why don't we trust Him today? I have had many failures and heartaches working toward my goal, but all things do work for good when your serve Him. I am just starting my journey--which will be a tedious one--but I know that God is mighty and just to grant the desires of my heart. "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires" (Ps. 37:4, NLT).
Written by Cleopatra Wallace
Monday, July 15, 2013
God and Yoda
On June 8th my husband and I adopted a dog. We named him Yoda. In the month that we have had him there has been many frustrating experiences and crazy thoughts. However, as I look back over the month, I am humbled because of the comparison my relationship with Yoda has with my relationship with God. Here is what I have learned through this experience:
- Yoda still loves me unconditionally even though I yell, put him in time out, and give him the silent treatment on occasion. I have a love-hate relationship with my dog at the moment but with God's help it will be a loving relationship. How does this compare to my walk with God? Well I yell at God, give Him the silent treatment, even try to put God in time out for not giving me what I asked for. God's response is always that of love. He takes me back with open arms each and every time.
- Yoda has runaway twice, urinated in our house countless of times, and jumped on furniture (which a no-no in our house). These and much more behaviors have driven me crazy to the point of I seriously contemplate finding him another suitable home. When I voice these thoughts to my family and friends, they all say they are praying and then proceed to advocate for Yoda. This here was humbling, because I know I am not a saint and yet there are many people praying on my behalf and above all Jesus intercedes for me before His father. When judgement day comes, it will be Jesus who is my advocate.
- I have wanted to give up on Yoda so many times I can't even tell you a number. And then I was reminded by others that we can't give up on family. But even larger than family, I realized that through my sinful nature, God has yet to give up on me. In fact, He gives me another chance on a very regular basis. So if God isn't giving up on me, I can't give up on Yoda.
- I have been praying for better behavior and trying to work with him to show him what it is that I expect from him. It made realize its the same with God. He explains through His Word what it is that is expected of me, and He puts life situations in place to help me get back on track. I am sure God gets upset with me to but again He is very patient and forgiving. Something I am learning to do as I realize how God is showing me what I am like at times through Yoda..
So as I reflect on this I am humbled and very thankful to God that He doesn't treat me the way that I have been treating Yoda. I am happy to report though through God's grace and blessings, Yoda and I are on the road to recovery and a happy relationship. His behavior has started to change and I am starting to learn the art of patience when it comes to this very active dog.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Dinner for tonight
Today I experimented with making my very own spicy black bean veggie burger. It came out very well, if I may say so myself. The rest of the entree was Jasmine rice and mixed vegetables...It was a quite a delicious meal.
These are my attempts these days as I am trying to eat healthier and spend less money.
These are my attempts these days as I am trying to eat healthier and spend less money.
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| Before going into the oven |
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| Right out of the oven |
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| The finished product |
Friday, July 5, 2013
Having the mean reds
Disclaimer: I apologize in advance for being in a downer mood and complaining. Please do not read any further if you are not in the mood to read a sad post.
Today was not an easy day. It was a very lazy day and a very sad day. No tears were involved. But I sure did feel frustrated, overwhelmed, sad and lonely. I guess all in all I kind of feel lost/afraid on some level.
I'm at a stand still in life for the moment. I'm having a mean red day (if you've watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, you know what I am talking about). With the exception that I can explain my fears to some extent. Here's my attempt to explain my mood/thoughts.
Can't do much as funds are limited, I don't know many people and the people I do know here on the island were all busy today. My husband is still gone and will be for a very long time (its going by really slowly). I really miss him.
And as for as work goes, its all a waiting game at this point. I applied for a job I really want and am excited for. I am waiting to see if my resume will go to the next level. In the meantime, I am studying to take my licensure exam, which is in two weeks.
Our truck needs to go to the vehicle hospital. It's sick and I am not sure what's wrong with it. I just know that it isn't running like normal and as of yesterday the check engine light came one. Solution, get the truck looked at and fix. However, its not that simple, that requires money which in our present situation is a very limited thing..Which goes back to the whole I hope I get this job so that there is a little bit more to work with budget wise.
I had a very bad hair day today, which when you are feeling down is just one more thing that wears you out and down.
Yoda was sick today, he threw up, and wouldn't eat or drink, which also meant he wouldn't go to the bathroom.
Today was not an easy day. It was a very lazy day and a very sad day. No tears were involved. But I sure did feel frustrated, overwhelmed, sad and lonely. I guess all in all I kind of feel lost/afraid on some level.
I'm at a stand still in life for the moment. I'm having a mean red day (if you've watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, you know what I am talking about). With the exception that I can explain my fears to some extent. Here's my attempt to explain my mood/thoughts.
Can't do much as funds are limited, I don't know many people and the people I do know here on the island were all busy today. My husband is still gone and will be for a very long time (its going by really slowly). I really miss him.
And as for as work goes, its all a waiting game at this point. I applied for a job I really want and am excited for. I am waiting to see if my resume will go to the next level. In the meantime, I am studying to take my licensure exam, which is in two weeks.
Our truck needs to go to the vehicle hospital. It's sick and I am not sure what's wrong with it. I just know that it isn't running like normal and as of yesterday the check engine light came one. Solution, get the truck looked at and fix. However, its not that simple, that requires money which in our present situation is a very limited thing..Which goes back to the whole I hope I get this job so that there is a little bit more to work with budget wise.
I had a very bad hair day today, which when you are feeling down is just one more thing that wears you out and down.
Yoda was sick today, he threw up, and wouldn't eat or drink, which also meant he wouldn't go to the bathroom.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Crossing Your Jordan
The following is from the woman's devotion Blessed edited by Ardis Dick Stenbakken. This particular entry is dated June 22 and is on page 180.
Crossing Your Jordan
I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Ps. 16:8.
At a certain time of the year the Jordan River, is in flood stage; the banks overflow and there is no way across--it is impassable. But on one occasion during Israel's history the Israelites were instructed by God through Joshua, "Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, until the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel" (Joshua 1:2). I think that at the time of the instruction, the melting snow had made the river deeper and wider. The Israelites were in a difficult situation, and in front of them was the river Jordan. God however had spoken: "Arise, go over this Jordan."
They had received their instructions. Believing that God was with them, they put their trust in God. They lined up and marched toward the river, the priests leading the way. When they reached the edge of the Jordan, the priests stepped into the water, and the Lord God omnipotent created dry land for them to walk on. The waters parted, and they all crossed over.
Whatever you Jordan is today, whether an unexpected test, an unforeseen situation that demands a lot of you, a friend encouraging wrong, a male friend trying to lead you into sexual impropriety, a colleague encouraging you to compromise your principles and make some quick cash, or even bills you cannot pay, the Lord is saying, "Arise and go across".
Trust in the Lord. Believe in Him. He will carry you through. Trust in the Lord. He wants to do wonders for you. Trust in the Lord. He is always at your right hand. You do not have to cross your Jordan alone. God is beside you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. He has engraved your name in the palm of His hand--that is how precious you are to Him. He will do everything to keep you safe.
Allow Him to lead and take care of you. But it must e a conscious decision. You must make the choice to let God lead. The Israelites did it, and they safely crossed a previously raging river into the Promised Land.
God did it for them back then, and He will do it for you today. Only trust Him.
Written by Sanjo Angella Jeffrey
Crossing Your Jordan
I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Ps. 16:8.
At a certain time of the year the Jordan River, is in flood stage; the banks overflow and there is no way across--it is impassable. But on one occasion during Israel's history the Israelites were instructed by God through Joshua, "Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, until the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel" (Joshua 1:2). I think that at the time of the instruction, the melting snow had made the river deeper and wider. The Israelites were in a difficult situation, and in front of them was the river Jordan. God however had spoken: "Arise, go over this Jordan."
They had received their instructions. Believing that God was with them, they put their trust in God. They lined up and marched toward the river, the priests leading the way. When they reached the edge of the Jordan, the priests stepped into the water, and the Lord God omnipotent created dry land for them to walk on. The waters parted, and they all crossed over.
Whatever you Jordan is today, whether an unexpected test, an unforeseen situation that demands a lot of you, a friend encouraging wrong, a male friend trying to lead you into sexual impropriety, a colleague encouraging you to compromise your principles and make some quick cash, or even bills you cannot pay, the Lord is saying, "Arise and go across".
Trust in the Lord. Believe in Him. He will carry you through. Trust in the Lord. He wants to do wonders for you. Trust in the Lord. He is always at your right hand. You do not have to cross your Jordan alone. God is beside you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. He has engraved your name in the palm of His hand--that is how precious you are to Him. He will do everything to keep you safe.
Allow Him to lead and take care of you. But it must e a conscious decision. You must make the choice to let God lead. The Israelites did it, and they safely crossed a previously raging river into the Promised Land.
God did it for them back then, and He will do it for you today. Only trust Him.
Written by Sanjo Angella Jeffrey
Fervently Desired
The following is from the devotional book One Year Alone with God by Ava Pennington. This particular entry can be found on page 197.
Fervently Desired
Isaiah 9:1-7
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:7
How eager are you to restore a relationship with someone who is unfriendly or even hostile toward you? What would you be willing to sacrifice to make it happen? Time? Money? How about the life of your beloved, only child?
The prophet Isaiah looked to a clay when the Lord would send the Messiah to redeem His people. Isaiah described a time when the light of salvation would dawn across the nation as God's Anointed One took His rightful place to rule over Israel. Isaiah also described God's eagerness to make this happen. "The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this" (Isa. 9:7).
Zealousness indicated an eager or fervent desire for something. Even if we are eager to restore a broken relationship, however, it is doubtful any of us would be willing to sacrifice one of our children.
God, in all His omniscience, knew exactly what it would cost to redeem His people. Still, He was zealous--eager, fervent--to make it happen, not because He wished pain on His Son, but because it was the only way to restore us to Him. That is how much He loves us.
Lord, thank You for Your zealous desire to do what I could not have done for myself.
How zealous am I to cultivate the relationship God so willingly provided to me?
Fervently Desired
Isaiah 9:1-7
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:7
How eager are you to restore a relationship with someone who is unfriendly or even hostile toward you? What would you be willing to sacrifice to make it happen? Time? Money? How about the life of your beloved, only child?
The prophet Isaiah looked to a clay when the Lord would send the Messiah to redeem His people. Isaiah described a time when the light of salvation would dawn across the nation as God's Anointed One took His rightful place to rule over Israel. Isaiah also described God's eagerness to make this happen. "The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this" (Isa. 9:7).
Zealousness indicated an eager or fervent desire for something. Even if we are eager to restore a broken relationship, however, it is doubtful any of us would be willing to sacrifice one of our children.
God, in all His omniscience, knew exactly what it would cost to redeem His people. Still, He was zealous--eager, fervent--to make it happen, not because He wished pain on His Son, but because it was the only way to restore us to Him. That is how much He loves us.
Lord, thank You for Your zealous desire to do what I could not have done for myself.
How zealous am I to cultivate the relationship God so willingly provided to me?
July 5
The following is from the book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young dated July 5.
"Draw near to Me with a thankful heart, aware that your cup is overflowing with blessings. Gratitude enables you to perceive Me more clearly and to rejoice in our Love-relationship. Nothing can separate you from My loving Presence! That is the basis of your security. Whenever you start to feel anxious, remind yourself that your security rests in Me alone, am I am totally trustworthy,
You will never be in control of your lie circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways. I am always doing something new within My beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you."
Romans 8:38-39; Psalm 56:3-4; Isaiah 43:19
"Draw near to Me with a thankful heart, aware that your cup is overflowing with blessings. Gratitude enables you to perceive Me more clearly and to rejoice in our Love-relationship. Nothing can separate you from My loving Presence! That is the basis of your security. Whenever you start to feel anxious, remind yourself that your security rests in Me alone, am I am totally trustworthy,
You will never be in control of your lie circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways. I am always doing something new within My beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you."
Romans 8:38-39; Psalm 56:3-4; Isaiah 43:19
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Deployment
A week ago today, on our one and a half year wedding anniversary, my husband deployed. He will be gone for six months. He will miss my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, our wedding anniversary, and new years. It has been a very long week. So if this is indicative of how the next six months are going to be...its going to be a looong journey. Right now its especially hard because I have no contact with my husband, and won't for a few more weeks.
The day he left, I was such an emotional basket case. I cried all day. Literally. Our poor dog tried to console me, but I was inconsolable. I even went out with some friends and while I enjoyed their company it didn't help. I cried in their presence.
The next few days and since then I have tried really hard to stay busy and meet people so that I don't feel alone in this new environment of ours. Yoda, our dog, even acted out a bit.
It hasn't been easy but I am really trying to adjust not having my husband around. I really miss him. My days are not the same with out him. Sleeping is not the same when he is not laying next to me. Needless to say, I am still an emotional case but I am not as bad as day one.
So what have I been doing to try and cope and manage life?
The day he left, I was such an emotional basket case. I cried all day. Literally. Our poor dog tried to console me, but I was inconsolable. I even went out with some friends and while I enjoyed their company it didn't help. I cried in their presence.
The next few days and since then I have tried really hard to stay busy and meet people so that I don't feel alone in this new environment of ours. Yoda, our dog, even acted out a bit.
It hasn't been easy but I am really trying to adjust not having my husband around. I really miss him. My days are not the same with out him. Sleeping is not the same when he is not laying next to me. Needless to say, I am still an emotional case but I am not as bad as day one.
So what have I been doing to try and cope and manage life?
- Well I have applied to several jobs. The job I applied to this morning is the one I really want so I am praying and asking God to work it out for me.
- I officially registered to take my LMSW exam for the second time. I am praying I pass it this time around.
- I have meet a few of the other wives of the sailors on my husband boat.
- I have gone to church.
- I road a carabao (different from a caribou). Quite the experience, made me think of veggie tales:
- I am learning to deal with a dog on my own, which is not easy when you have never had a dog before.
- I have come up with lists of things I would like to do while we are here in Guam and another of what I would like to do/accomplish while my husband is gone.
- Tried to get our truck fixed but due to lack of funds is a very slow going process.
- And lastly, I started a notebook, I write a letter to my husband everyday and will give him the notebook when he gets home.
Even though I have kept myself busy, I am still missing my hubby. I feel like half of me and my heart are gone. I keep telling myself if I can make it through boot-camp which was nine weeks long, then I am going to have to break the six months into nine week segments. I know there will be great days, good days, bad days, and ugly days. My prayer and goal is that no matter what kind of day I am having I need to stay busy so that I don't have a repeat of day one. Here's to the next twenty-three weeks of my life.....
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